Life is too Short to Believe in Impossible

A long time ago, I had some sort of dreams.  I couldn’t tell you what they are anymore, but I know at some point I felt I was moving towards something.  In the last 15 years or so, I’ve lived on simply existing and not dreaming.  

Once upon a time, my dream was simply to have children, a husband and a home.  Pretty basic.  Along with that dream came a bad marriage and the end of what I held as a basic dream.  The years after my divorce were even more difficult and I really just existed.  The dreams I had were for someone else, as if fulfilling who they wanted to be would somehow fulfill me as well – it doesn’t work that way.  I put my dreams and feelings on the back burner to help fix someone else.   It didn’t work, and I ended up depressed and broken.I had two really great runs this weekend, I’m not sure why.  In fact, yesterday, I was dripping sweat when I finished (but shaved almost 2 minutes off my time) and was already tired.  I went on to lift (it was legs day) and just really pushed myself.  After I got home and cleaned up yesterday, I felt great – awake and full of energy and didn’t go to bed until midnight, not feeling tired at all.  I was up at 7:30 this morning and back at the gym by 9:00 a.m.   Another great run where I felt good and got my time down another minute.  At the end of my run, I had the speed at 6.3 and was sprinting – I know, I know, that’s not REALLY fast, but honestly, I have short legs and I’m a slow runner!!  Driving home, I had to stop and get gas and go to the bank when it hit me how great I felt AGAIN.  I feel great today, despite feeling crampy and bloated – I mentally and physically feel great.

THIS is what has been missing in my life for the last several years.  The feeling of accomplishment and the feeling of pushing myself.  It’s not so much for me about that number on the scale, it’s how I compete against myself and about fulfilling my own dreams. 

Yesterday while working out, I realized I limit myself.  I tell myself that no one will want to read what I write, or no one will care that I can run 3.2 miles in a certain time, or whether I even finish.  At the end of the day, I need to push those ideas aside.  Frankly, the fact that I put out this blog every week and I have people who read it (thank you, readers, you have indeed made that dream of my writing being read), is a huge accomplishment in itself.

I’ve started realizing that there are still a lot of things I want to do.  Maybe that’s what happens in your 40s?!  Maybe you realize that there is still time.  I want to retire at some point and pay off my home.  I want to travel.  I’d love a different career still.  I want to finish writing my book and actually be published.  Should I believe that these things are impossible?  No, because honestly, they aren’t impossible.  I believe in me.  I know my limits, I know my excuses, I know my diligence and passion when working on something. 

Let your dreams live; don’t get lost in the day-to-day stuff and just exist.  Whether it’s running a 5K or writing a novel or climbing mountains, there is always a way.  Maybe it’s the high from my run, but I believe again. 

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6 Comments

  1. DO not limit yourself. Love yourself and continue dreaming… CHEERS! Good post to read. Its good to share your thoughts to the universe!

    Reply
  2. Thank you, Nino – your blog is very inspiring, I just checked it out! One of these days, I’ll work up to those adventures. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Great post, and it rings true! It’s never to late to try something new whether you’re 40 or 80. Loved you post!

    Awesome job on your run times, that’s something worth celebrating (regardless of how long your legs are 😉 ).

    Thanks for your candor it’s inspiring to read how far you’ve come on the inside and in your health pursuits.

    Great work
    Elaine

    Reply
    • Thank you, Elaine for the kind words! And losing 50 pounds is amazing – I’m following your blog now. I’ve gained and lost hundreds of pounds in my life – just want to get to that point of happy “where I am” (and I do remember that feeling). 🙂 People who didn’t know me when I was thin say I look good, but I know where I’m supposed to be really be and it’s not here.

      Reply
  4. sweetopiagirl

     /  March 25, 2012

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

    Reply
  5. Thank you, sweet! 🙂

    Reply

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