Under Pressure

I am a worrier.  I always have been.  However, I’m one of those people that works relatively well under pressure.  As  I get older, I notice myself becoming frazzled at work (and having it show), as opposed to in my 20s when I thrived under the stress and pressure.  In general, however, I can move through my day appearing to have everything under control when inside I’m freaking out.

In my previous life with my abuser, I lived under tremendous stress everyday.  I didn’t even realize what was going on at the time until after I left.  I remember that I had constant upper back and neck pain and assumed it was a bad mattress or sleeping incorrectly or worrying about not ever having money.  Probably all of those things contributed, but certainly the high level of stress I was living under was the main cause.  Within three days of leaving, I remember doing my hair and makeup one morning and realizing all that pain was gone.   I’ve made no secret of my love for chocolate and during that time, I had a giant size bar of chocolate next to my side of the bed that I ate regularly.  During that time, I was unable to gain weight at all and one point was certain I had cancer.  No, it was stress.  (more…)

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I’ll Be Growing Pizza In My Garden Next Spring

Yes, you read the title correctly – next spring, I will be planting pizza in my garden.  If you watch the news, Congress declared pizza a vegetable for school lunches.  Pizza?  The last I checked, vegetables were grown in the ground.  Had I known pizza was really a vegetable, I wouldn’t have spent all that money over the years ordering carryout. 

The reasoning by Congress (and it defies logic) is that on school pizza, they use tomato paste instead of tomato sauce and somehow, tomato paste is 10% of the daily recommended allowance of vegetables.  Now, I find this all ludicrous.  It’s simply a way that the government has come up with a way to declare school lunches as “healthy” and not dole out anymore money for the school lunch program, which, if you pay attention to what they serve kids, is basically crap. 

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If I Die Young

Okay, the title of this post really has nothing to do with this post, except this song is stuck in my head.  Saying that, I dislike country music, but this one I do like probably because of the words and sentiment behind it.  Onto the real post now!

I mentioned last week that I had a different attitude all of a sudden.   This past week I passed up dessert that had been brought in for me, donuts in our group and a host of other endless supplies of food in the office.  I also got to the gym three times last week and had really good workouts.  It’s apparent by the evil scale that all of that did work – I was down 4 pounds yesterday morning.  I’m happy with that as a starting point.  (more…)

It’s Raining Men

I’ve always admired The Weather Girls, the two large women who sang “It’s Raining Men.”  In their video, they dance around while all kinds of men rained from the sky.  Neither woman appeared to care that they were overweight and (at least in the video) had the confidence that they were the “it” girl of that day.  That takes a lot of confidence. 

I wish this post was going to be how I felt the same way about myself, but that’s not even close to true.  When I think of men, I picture myself inside a cement wall that covers me up – in my case, I’ve made it easy, by surrounding myself with extra weight.  It gives off a kind of “stay away” vibe to most men.  Now true, there are men who aren’t looking for a size 2, although most men aren’t looking for someone overweight either.  Subconsciously I know this, and the weight stays on. 

Depending on which of my friends you talked to, you’d hear everything from “she’s too bitter from past experiences to have a relationship,” to “she’s ready, but just doesn’t realize it.”  I think there are probably truths to these statements and all the ones in between.  Having always been very bad at picking out a mate, I’ve come to not trust myself very much.  And having been alone for quite some time now, I honestly have to say, I like setting my own timetable and doing things on my own terms.  I like the responsibility of making (and spending) my own money and not worrying what someone else is going to say about yet another set of towels that I just had to have or that new pair of shoes.  In the same respect, I often think it would be nice to have someone around every now and then (i.e., not ALL the time certainly)!

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The Devil Made Me Do It

With Halloween arriving, the holiday season has officially started.  Halloween is scary – well, not really, but from the perspective that I have candy in my house, it’s pretty scary to me.  I always overbuy and this year was no different.  I did manage to leave the candy bags unopened until Monday evening when I rushed home and turned on my front lights for the trick-or-treaters.  I had a whopping 14 kids come by and two bags of mini Nestle bars.  That was pretty scary in my world. 

It’s been no better at work where one of the attorneys brought in a huge pumpkin bucket of leftover candy from her house.  After awhile, it doesn’t even taste good and I certainly don’t feel good at the end of the day from it.  Yet, I can’t stop going back because in that moment, it’s soooo delicious. 

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  • Easy Crustless Quiche

    This is a fantastic recipe that is easily adapted to whatever you really love in your quiche.

    7 egg whites;
    1.5 C skim milk
    (for quiche shown)
    Add 1 C chopped vidalia onion (sauteed in oil first)
    1 chopped red pepper (sauteed with onion)
    1 10 oz. box of spinach (also sauteed)

    Heat oven to 450 and bake for 15 minutes; reduce heat to 375 for an additional 30 minutes. During the last 15 mins. add approximately 2 C of sharp cheddar cheese.

    This will yield approximately 6 large pieces, amounting to around 110 calories per piece.

  • Thought to Keep in Mind on the Journey

    Failure is merely a perception; with each effort, we get the ability to start over again.
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